The Dirty Details: Inside The Home


I know you’re all dieing to see the inside of this place as much as I was. I’m a very patient person 99% of the time, but when in certain situations I lose all control and act like the 3 year old screaming at his parents and doing the I have to pee dance. “Get me in that house I have to pee I want to see!” Lucky for us our good friend is also our real estate agent so we got in to see the place the second day the house was on the market.

From all the previous homes that we’ve looked at I quickly learned that you really can’t judge a house from how nice it looks from the outside. I’ve mistakenly seen several episodes of the TV show “Horders” so I should have known things are sometimes quite scary behind closed doors.   A good example is the house that someone thought they could dig out the basement in to increase ceiling height and that digging below the footings of the house would be fine. Or the listing that says “recently updated” and when you walk in you wonder to yourself in what decade the house was “recently” updated, 1960?

Luckily when we first stepped into what would become our new house I wasn’t immediately gasping in horror, or felt the need to run back out the door screaming and into the safety of my car. Actually in this instance I do believe I heard the angels from heaven singing that soothing “Ahhhhhhhh” musical note. Yes it was pretty dirty and gross inside and hasn’t been updated since Lincoln was president, but it had great potential!

Lets take a little walk shall we?

First off I want to show the layout of the house so you can see how it all fits together. Click on all the photos to see them in their full glory! : )

Home Layout


The room sizes I think are pretty close to being spot on. We were in such a rush while there that we forgot to measure the rooms to make sure the listing agent wasn’t making things appear bigger than they actually are. We all know that what one person sometimes considers is 10″ the measuring tape is actually saying 5″ ;)




We’ll start from the beginning. Here is what the front of the house looks like. Cute, nice little porch on the front. I think that tree definitely has to go. I’m thinking a burning bush, forsythia or a golden dogwood might look nice there. Or maybe a big obnoxious rainbow flag that screams “the gays are moving in!”. I’m pretty sure we’ll opt for putting a plant there.

Our Home!

From there we’ll walk down the driveway and towards the backyard. Looks like we are going to need a large dumpster to clean this yard up and some really thick gloves…and a gallon of hand sanitizer!

Walking down the driveway

At the back of the house

Looking back towards the road


There isn’t much too the backyard but we’ll make it work. Thinking my veggie garden will go next to the garage. I’ll have to take a closer look at that as I remember it being kinda dark in that little alley of land.

Wonder if that garage door still works…might just need a little duct tape and string. : – )

Back Yard

Another View

Looking from back lot

Now for the good stuff! Lets take a look inside and see whats hiding. The first pic is of the living room which is right when you walk in the front door off of the porch. Photo is being taken from the dining room. The second photo is of the dining room taken from the living room. Thirdly is the kitchen, nice right? She needs a little work…and I’m not sure why I just called the kitchen a “she”, I think I’ll name her Martha.

Living Room

Dining Room




Off the kitchen in the back of the house is a nice enclosed porch that runs the width of the house. We have several ideas of how to turn this into added living space but will have to do further investigating on that. If the porch has the proper footings we could extend the kitchen into that section.

Looking at the second photo below you’ll notice two doors right next to each other. The basement has two access points with this area being one of them. However to use this access you have to go out one door and come in the other. Hilarious to say the least! That will have to be fixed for sure.

Back porch off of the kitchen

Steps to outside and into basement

I envision a cozy sitting room

The bathroom, probably my least favorite part of the home. Hopefully though we’ll only have to deal with it for a short amount of time. It appears that the only thing holding the vanity up is the bathtub. I think there is also a rolls worth of duct tape on the wall that is either holding tile up, covering a hole, or maybe this is some new DIY fad that I haven’t heard of yet. The previous owners decision to paint the white ceramic tiles abyss blue and glue on some fishy wallpaper border is a nice touch. I bet it feels like you’re swimming in the ocean when you take a shower.


Not much to say about the bedrooms, all two of them, other than that they are small. Wouldn’t be so bad if we slept in bunk beds (could be fun) or crammed ourselves onto a futon. As it stands right now the only thing that’s fitting in the rooms are the beds. I’m crossing my fingers that the attic is tall enough to go ahead with our plan and turn into the new master bed and bath. Visions of a large master bath dance in my head.



Another bedroom

Last but not least is the basement. There is a third bedroom down there but whoever put it in clearly thought putting in a 5″ high platform/sub-floor was the right thing to do. So out it comes! Along with pretty much every other strange wall that was put up down there. In the middle of the basement there is this strange 6′ x 3′ room just sitting there not serving any conceivable purpose. It gave me the creeps for some reason. Should have taken a photo of it so you could all tell me what you would have used it for :). The photos you see below are only showing half the basement, the other side was too dark and couldn’t get any photos.

Basement. You can see the 3rd “bedroom”

That wall to the right is the creepy room.

Crawl Space under back porch in basement

Well I do believe that commences our little home tour. Once we actually get the keys to the place I’ll most likely be showing some additional photos…like the attic, and the creepy 6’x3′ nook in the middle of the basement.

We close near the end of May and the wait is going to drive me crazy! We are so excited and I very much look forward to getting in there and getting my hands dirty. Oh wait I take that back, I hate getting my hands dirty. I am very much looking forward to getting in there and getting my gloves dirty, there that’s much better. In the mean time I should probably start packing the non-essentials. I know the closing date is going to creep up on us and we’ll be saying “We should have started packing sooner”.

10 comments for “The Dirty Details: Inside The Home

  1. Ellen
    27 April, 2012 at 5:26 am

    A lot of work ahead of you guys (I think you’re going to need another hammer, ha!) but the end results will be wonderful.
    I’m sure you’ve already thought of this but just in case, make sure you wear those little face masks so your nose doesn’t get all coated with disgusting crap – ask me how I know.
    I’m excited for you two and will be along for the adventure – from far away.

    • Joe
      27 April, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      I think just for safety sake I’ll be using my respirator that I usually use for working with enamels.

  2. Julia
    27 April, 2012 at 8:32 am

    I love calling the kitchen “Martha”. There are just so many layers of meaning to that.

    • Joe
      27 April, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      It seemed very fitting.

  3. Kris
    27 April, 2012 at 9:32 am

    The 6’x 3′ room? Duh, they used it to store their glass. Doesn’t everyone have one of those?

    So excited for you guys and am anxiously looking forward to the next update!

    • Joe
      27 April, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      I don’t think all my glass would fit in that space lol. Maybe I’ll turn it into a little cat play-pen :)

  4. Yvonne
    27 April, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Okay, so there is work to be done. But the possibilities are wonderful. Especially love the wrought iron in one of the pictures. Will be fun following your progress. The outcome will probably be so outstanding that the “before” and “after” won’t even be possible to say “same property”. And great space option for your studio; lucky you.

    Good luck.

    • Joe
      27 April, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      Yeah I hope you are right. Can’t wait to get started.

  5. Diana
    27 April, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    Oh, what a lot of work ahead of you, I’ve done this so I understand. Can’t wait to see what you guys do with it the bones look good. Maybe hardwood (in bedrooms) so maybe under the other tile that would be nice. I vote for the rainbow flag for now. Can’t wait to see how sharp this looks as you progress but boy it’s a lot of work. Di

    • Joe
      27 April, 2012 at 11:52 pm

      The whole house has hardwood floors hidden under that ugly vinyl flooring. Hoping it is all in good condition yet as we both love hardwood flooring.

      I will never understand why people choose to lay vinyl over a wood floor. It’s all ugly and always looks dirty.

Leave a Reply